Last week British newspapers reported the suicide of Victoria Nye. She was a bright and beautiful 22-year-old trying to get her mental illness under control. She had plans to become a doctor. All she needed was to heal and develop new habits, strategies, skills…
She sought help. For the first time in her life, she agreed voluntarily to go to the hospital to get better.
Her hopes for recovery were interrupted by a rushed discharged. According to her father, she was told that she was normal and should not be in the hospital. She was told by her doctors that they cannot help her.
She took this message as: She cannot be helped. It seemed that she had no hopes for recovery left. A few hours later, she jumped from the 13th floor…
I can’t stop thinking that this tragedy could and should have been prevented!
It seems very common to pass our hopes for recovery into the hands of others when we feel vulnerable. Should we automatically trust that the authorities are the only ones who can help?
At some points in our lives, we all feel the need to reach out and seek help. We must remember that asking for help does not guarantee it.
Often people can’t help us, even if they try their best. They might not have enough knowledge, skills, understanding, resources, patience, motivation or time.
We must understand it, as failing to do so puts us into a passive mode. We relinquish control over our own recovery. We expect to get helped! We rely on getting helped! A few steps down from that lie ‘blame’ and ‘being a victim’.
Our hopes for recovery are our own business! We have the right to build them, keep them, alter them, share them or not, chase after them or give them up and build new ones. Whatever we choose to do, they must remain with us! Only us!
I grieve for Victoria, even though I did not know her. She did not have adequate help around and she thought she had no other choices.
But look around. There are so many choices to assist you at climbing out of depression!
To mention just one, I’ve recently stumbled upon Hope Therapy (Here is one person’s testimony. Sorry, the link is now broken (2015 update)).
According to Jennifer Cheavens, assistant professor of psychology at Ohio State University, people can be taught how to be more hopeful. This therapy encourages a person to focus on setting a destination (a goal), a route (a pathway towards this goal) and a means of transport (ways to develop motivation and strength to take actions, have perseverance, as well as strategies and alternative solutions for overcoming obstacles).
Sounds interesting, isn’t it?
I hope you are well and full of hopes! Please, please, please never give them up.
Stay strong, remain hopeful and seek inspiration!
Photo by: 123rf.com
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