You have been depressed for so long that you are sick and tired of being depressed. You want your life back! You desire to feel happy, confident, successful, valued, connected, interested and interesting. ‘If only I can break the cycle of this depression and set myself free to LIVE the rest of my life!’
The truth is: it’s hard to break free from depression. It’s almost impossible to talk yourself out of it (Would be nice to hear from people who succeeded this way!) It’s also unlikely that a person, who has been crippled by depression, would find strength, discipline and motivation to do and act differently from one particular moment forward.
Why is that?
I believe that when you try to leave your depression behind you are dealing not just with depression itself but the whole gang she belongs to. This gang is very strong and powerful! When you face it you are basically putting yourself against ‘the Mafia’. It disrespects and disregards your personal views completely and will not hesitate to take out your life.
‘Kat, what are you on about?’ you might ask. Let me go straight to the point. I am talking about your habits. The very habits that disempower and destroy your ability to heal and have a depression-free life.
Let me give you just a few examples. Do you continuously:
- Blame your depression for your lifestyle?
- Sabotage yourself like going to bed way too late without any plan for tomorrow?
- Find excuses to stay in the house all day every day?
- Say ‘No, thanks’ to every opportunity and relationship?
- Avoid responsibilities?
- Compare yourself to others?
- Reach out for alcohol/tablets whenever you are stressed?
It’s not too hard to identify your own ‘Mafia’ if you are honest with yourself. The hardest bit is to pick up just ONE habit and replace it with another habit that will be supporting your recovery. Leave the temptation to ‘transform yourself’ overnight. I am sure many of you tried it and know that it’s not working. After a couple of days you are likely to end up lower than you’ve started.
So, pick just one habit. For instance, you stay in the house all day every day. ‘I need to get out more’ thoughts are not going to help you change this habit. Being courageous, disciplined and actually going out every day for 4 weeks will do it for you!
Start by going out somewhere ‘safe’ if you’re dreading to engage in conversations with people at this stage of your recovery. Walk to a local shop to get a loaf of bread, or go to your nearest recycle centre to throw away a couple of plastic bottles. Step out of your comfort zone just a little bit. Then, each day expand your comfort zone a bit more if you feel ready for this challenge. At the very least don’t let it shrink back to its original state. Keep doing it for 28 days until going out no longer feels weird, impossible or unsafe.
Tiny but consistent change leads to great results. You can’t cure your depression today, but you CAN start eliminating one habit that stops you living the life you deserve. Within just one year you can have 12 new habits installed that could support you in breaking free from depression.
I encourage you to use ‘comments’ to announce your commitment to change one of your habits today. What will it be?
Stay strong, remain hopeful and seek inspiration!
Photo by: 123RF Stock Photos
This is harder than it seems. I keep deleting a goal after I type it. Hmmm…For starter, I’ll try and get up at a 7am everyday. Simple enough?
I commit to get out of the house once a day for 28 days. I will hold myself responsible for this task.
Pray for me guys
We will be praying for you, Maher!
You will find your way out of depression. Persevere!
Kat
P.S. Keep us posted and stay strong.
One of the loyal buddies of my depression is thinking about the past and trying to work out how it got to this point. When I don’t think about all that I feel more able to do things. I am going to make a conscious decision to let those thoughts go into my mind and then out again, without pursuing them. (Because no good banishing thoughts – they come automatically).
At the moment I’m blaming myself for my daughter’s poor AS results. (Single mother, didn’t insist she went to proper, strict 6th form etc etc) I think I’ve found a tutor and we’ll take it from there, looking only into the future.
Please carry on with the blog and I’ll follow it. It doesn’t have to be a new bit every day – this way you have time to digest it.
L.
Hi L.,
I want to thank you for sharing your wise insights and plans. I also hope all goes well for you and your daughter this new academic year!
I am glad you are enjoying the blog and find it useful. At the moment I only intend to post once a week. However, I have my Twitter account up and running. Have a look and feel free to join:
http://www.twitter.com/Lift_Depression
So true – I have been telling myself for months that I need to get back to the gym, but ended up feeling worse as I didn’t feel confident enough to do it. had my first visit at the weekend, it was scary – but I did it and I hope it’ll give me the confidence to keep on going. As for all my other habits – I’ll work on them in time…
Nic, It is great that you made it to the gym and I hope that, if you enjoy it, you’ll continue making every effort to keep going.
I think that it’s very important that we get a regular exercise either at the gym or elsewhere.
It’s also paramount that we choose an exercise that suits our personalities best. What physical activities leave you uplifted in mood afterwards and make you exclaim ‘I love it! I should do it again!’?
I would like to share my personal story with you.
My gym experiences have never been great. At my last and final attempt I developed the habit of ‘finding excuses to skip the gym’ very fast, even though they had the additional benefit of a ‘free crèche’ for my little one! Two years later and lots of money poorer (due to my 2 years fixed membership) I learned that I can go to the gym, but I will not go to the gym.
Here are my reasons why: (Please, once again, keep in mind that this is my personal opinion and I understand that gym can be the best exercise on a planet for lots of people):
So, I made a decision, that since I don’t enjoy the gym, I no longer need to go there. However, I found out while at the gym that I enjoy having a personal 1:1 fitness instructor, so one day I can see myself running in a beautiful park with a motivational fittness guru by my side. Bliss! (I wonder whether I like running?!)
Hugs,
Kat